Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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