We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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