pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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