you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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