Already got asked if we're dating
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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