my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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