i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize