i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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