my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize