I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize