Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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