Soap is not a condiment
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize