Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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