pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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