I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize