I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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