she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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