He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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