My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I got inside last night via doggy door
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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