I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
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You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
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But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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