My room smells like vodka and shame
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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