i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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