btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize