i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just high enough for therapy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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