I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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