Non-Jews are for practice
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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