Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize