You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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