then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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