using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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