I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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