This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
now i know why i became what i already was.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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