I can text with my tongue
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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