I want to stick my p in your. b.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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