i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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