Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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