He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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