i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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