i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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