i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her vagine was all disorganized.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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