i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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