It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize