I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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