Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.

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(727): He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course. http://tfl.nu/636t

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(504): View more from Louisiana

She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.

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(504): She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise. http://tfl.nu/2rjq

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(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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(626): Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is. http://tfl.nu/41jw

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(541): View more from Oregon

at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

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(541): at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard. http://tfl.nu/6ebl

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(630): View more from Illinois

Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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(630): Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze. http://tfl.nu/d5vp

Replies (113) Good night (1319) Bad night (24729)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?

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(859): how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong? http://tfl.nu/c3b4

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(775): View more from Nevada

At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.

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(775): At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later. http://tfl.nu/5mcf

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?

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(502): I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that? http://tfl.nu/7r6j

Replies (14) Good night (1144) Bad night (1562)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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(503): Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow. http://tfl.nu/26gh

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(714): View more from California

Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.

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(714): Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious. http://tfl.nu/8gkr

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(801): View more from Utah

He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.

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(801): He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/2uzh

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(720): View more from Colorado

Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am

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(720): Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am http://tfl.nu/x5gh

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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(973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43

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(936): View more from Texas

My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.

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(936): My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away. http://tfl.nu/923e

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party

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(732): Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party http://tfl.nu/r6wq

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