im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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