bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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