I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
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You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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