I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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