If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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