Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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